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Well, I guess someone has to "educate" Foley, so I will. I have listed the names of the cars and what was probably behind the names, not the stuff you made up. You obviously don't really have a clue.
Chevrolet Nova NEW STAR
Subaru Brat Sassy kid
Ford Edsel Wasn’t the name – it was the horse-collar grille
Suzuki Esteem We “esteem” things that are of value
Daihatsu Charade Never played “Charades,” Mr. Foley (somewhat too sophisticated for you, eh?)
Chevrolet Cavalier “Cavalier” also means “devil may care”
Hummer Most people thought the name a little “odd” Give you one, Foley.
Dodge Dart Swinger You took the name out of context of the time. If you weren’t there, you have no clue.
Chevrolet Citation You obviously haven’t heard of the great race horse Citation, either.
Ford Probe NASA’s “probes” project a much better image than your perverted mind.
Studebaker Dictator Well, “dictator” can (and did) mean someone or something that dictates the scene.
Ford Escort Ever heard of a destroyer escort,” Foley?
Ford Festiva Very festive name – so what’s wrong with it?
Volkswagen Thing Again, you took the name out of the context of the time. You obviously weren’t there (then or now).
Daihatsu Taft/Scat Ever heard of Jazz “scat” (How about Ella Fitzgerald?)? Again, you have no clue
You must have too much tiume on your hands and are bored stiff. Can't believe that YOU actually believe any of the stuff you wrote (but, if you did, better look for another job).
You mention the "Thing", but why not the "Passat"? One of the worse names I have ever heard.