What Would Our Founding Fathers Drive?

Despite his wealth (he was a prominent Boston lawyer) and apparent worldliness (he spent the entirety of the Revolutionary War as an overseas ambassador), John Adams was about as down-to-earth as a politician can be. He spent his entire 1796 presidential campaign at home in Massachusetts and won anyway, becoming the second president of the United States. Adams would be drawn to the most pragmatic of qualities: safety. What better way to protect his own invaluable intellect and family than to stow them in Volvo's XC60, a crossover SUV with top-notch safety features, including a Driver Alert System that detects lane-drift and warns sleepy drivers? Not that Abigail Adams would drift off during her husband's pontificating, or anything.

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A legendary brewer and an infamous rabble-rouser, Samuel Adams wrote the Colonies' first official rebuke of British taxation in 1764. His various letters and writings in the years running up to the American Revolution have led some historians to accuse him of everything from starting riots to deliberately triggering the Boston Massacre. Whatever he did or didn't do, Adams did it to the hilt. He was also a quintessential American bad boy. Hence, he would drive the 2013 Shelby GT500 with its 5.8-liter 650-horsepower V8 engine, the most powerful production V8 on the planet, according to Ford. Adams wouldn't necessarily take it to the track to show off — no, scratch that. Of course he would.

View Pictures:  Ford Shelby GT500 Convertible

The world's premier Colonial-era expert on electricity was, in his time, a bit of a rock star. He toured Europe during the conflict at home, inspiring outrage and admiration. And while John Adams scribbled private invectives against Parisian debaucheries, Franklin engaged in numerous liaisons, wooing one married French woman with a nine-article "Treaty of Peace," with its saucy stipulation that "when he is with her, he will do what he pleases." Franklin's dream vehicle would be a marriage of European sex appeal, performance and, naturally, cutting-edge electric-drivetrain technology. In other words, he'd drive the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG E-Cell. It's fast — 62 mph in four seconds, and 125 mph in 12 seconds, thanks to torque-boosting, wheel-based electric motors. And it's gorgeous, like the best of mistresses.

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America's first secretary of the Treasury was not to be trifled with. He fought as an officer in the Revolutionary War until becoming George Washington's aide, and then threatened to resign until he was put back on the front lines. He spent his political career as a staunch supporter of centralized government powers, including the creation of a national bank. For Hamilton, the 2013 Cadillac XTS would embody America at its best, being a bold — but not overly showy — result of federal funding, with an interior fit for a banking executive and a hard-angled warship of an exterior that says, "Don't you dare tread on me."

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The seventh president of the United States remains a polarizing figure. He was a born warrior, serving as a courier in the Revolutionary War and as a highly decorated officer in the War of 1812. But as commander in chief he ordered the relocation of millions of Native Americans, and he was a vocal proponent of slavery. Historians still argue over whether his takedown of the national bank was a brave stand against monopolies or a personal vendetta. Jackson thrived on confrontation. He'd go for the Ferrari FF, drawing outrage for spending so much and not buying American, and sneers from the FF's haters, who think it's a rare design blunder for Ferrari.

Watch Video:  Ferrari FF

Like his longtime rival John Adams, Thomas Jefferson wasn't known for his soldiering or his oration, but for his towering intellect and knack for crafting policy. He was the sole author of the original draft of the Declaration of Independence, and yet he delivered fiery missives against the undue expansion of federal powers. The country's third president was also well-versed in science and was a naturalist centuries before it was en vogue. Jefferson's choice of vehicle would reflect his quietly iconoclastic tendencies. Not content to simply own the all-electric Nissan Leaf, he would no doubt update a network of daily blogs on the state of various environmental policies and technologies.

Compare: Nissan LEAF vs. Chevrolet Volt vs. Toyota Prius

America's fourth president is a hard man to sum up. Madison was famously charmless, and his views and vices never qualified him for the kinds of caricatures that other Founding Fathers settled into. He helped write the Constitution and the Bill of Rights but insisted it was a team effort, and his two terms in the Oval Office were defined by the War of 1812. Madison's pick would be the 2012 Buick LaCrosse with eAssist. It's not too flashy and not too shabby, and it uses "light electrification" — meaning a small electric motor good for a few extra miles per gallon, a propulsion system that he could likely discuss with surprising force and eloquence, if anyone bothered to ask.

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It's said that Jefferson described James Monroe as being "so honest that if you turned his soul inside out there would not be a spot on it." He was, by all counts, a straightforward sort of politician, a veteran of the Revolutionary War who opposed ratification of the Constitution, but who went on to serve the nation faithfully. He brokered the Louisiana Purchase and, as the fifth president, introduced the Monroe Doctrine, which prohibited European powers from meddling with or colonizing territories in the Americas. Monroe wouldn't much care what he's driving, so long as it was American. Since Ford didn't take bailout money, that's where Monroe would turn, and his vehicle of choice would be the 2013 Ford Escape, with the fuel-thrifty 2-liter 4-cylinder EcoBoost engine.

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Born in England, Paine immigrated to Philadelphia in order to join the American Revolution. He became one of its chief architects, writing influential pamphlets and books — including "Common Sense" — that railed against British rule and promoted a vision of democracy that included radical notions such as allowing people without property to vote. When the war ended, Paine became an inventor, before heading off to France to aid in its revolution. Paine's surprising interest in technology would steer him toward the Chevrolet Volt. By not picking the obvious "radical" choice — the LEAF — Paine would write extensive blog posts and features, become a cable news analyst and instigate public feuds with Jefferson over the more "moral" electrification strategy.

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The man buried under all the elementary-school gossip — the cherry tree, the Delaware crossing, those wooden chompers — was a bright and battle-hardened tactician, who won a war against what was then the world's greatest military power by becoming a grand and terrible nuisance. As the inaugural president, Washington tried desperately to tamp down all conflicts, refusing to side with warring European powers and avoiding the conditions that might spawn a party system within American politics. To Washington, who initially refused an annual presidential salary, appearances mattered. Then again, he was also wealthy, and probably the toughest guy you'd ever meet in your life. Washington would drive a 2012 Dodge Challenger SRT8 392. It has street-tough looks, is American-made and is powered by a 6.4-liter Hemi V8 engine. Also, it would be matte black.

Bing Images: Dodge Challenger SRT8 392

For more information on any vehicle in this slideshow, click the links below:

- Volvo XC60
- Shelby GT500
- Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG E-Cell
- Nissan LEAF
- Buick LaCrosse with eAssist
- Ford Escape
- Chevrolet Volt
- Dodge Challenger SRT8 392

Compare: 8 of the cars

Based out of the Boston area, Erik Sofge is frequent contributor to Popular Mechanics and Slate.com. He specializes in everything scientific and technical.

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