Cars for the Young, Not Young at Heart

Nissan cube

This aptly named vehicle is proudly asymmetric, has a headliner inspired by a raindrop, and there's a patch of fake grass on the dash to keep your smartphone or whatever from sliding around. Like the Kia Soul and the Scion xB, the cube is more cute than handy, though. If you want to drive a more useful box, find a good used Honda Element. It's utilitarian and appealingly unattractive, but it's not cute.

• Compare the cube and Element
• Here are some more adult utility vehicles.

View Slideshow: Rides for the Big & Tall

Fiat 500 Convertible

You will look fine in the Fiat 500 convertible only if you happen to be cruising along the shore of Lake Como in Italy, your new Italian girlfriend in the passenger seat, the sun bathing her bare, golden brown shoulders. Unfortunately, you are really driving along the shore of Lake Michigan, slogging the daily commute on Lake Shore Drive. And it's winter, so you're terrified that a Chicago snow plow might bury the diminutive Fiat if you park on the street. You want something fun and Italian? Buy a Ducati.

• You can also try one of these other 2-wheelers.
• But if you are really having a midlife crisis, try these.

Read: Fiat Sells Out the 500 Abarth

Volkswagen Beetle Convertible

You know who looks perfect in this car? A 20-something gal and her three BFFs heading to the beach. In fact, the original New Beetle was selling so well to young women that VW felt compelled to redesign it specifically to better appeal to men. If you really want a Beetle convertible, go shop on The Samba for a genuine air-cooled Bug. The old flat-4 engine sounds cool, and you'll be authentically retro.

• This convertible not for you? How about one of these?
• If retro is more to your liking, try these.

Read: 2012 Volkswagen Beetle: First Drive

Honda Ruckus

We think there's a valid urban-transport argument for the scooter: It's nimble, great on fuel and easy to park. But a gentleman should never be seen on a scooter with less than 50cc displacement. The Ruckus, with its exposed frame and knobby tires, has some flair. It may be perfect campus transportation for an undergraduate. But if dad wants to scoot to work, he should consider something more grown-up, such as the Suzuki Burgman or the new BMW C 650 GT. A BMW is always a safe choice.

• If 2-wheeled city transport isn't for you, try these small runabouts.
• Riding on two wheels isn't the only way to save at the gas pump.

View Slideshow: 2-Wheeled Masterpieces

Subaru Impreza WRX

This is a tough one, because the WRX is a truly capable automobile, especially in its 305-horsepower guise. However, driving around the neighborhood in a low gear just so that everyone can hear the flat drone of that turbo-boxer engine, then blipping the throttle at every stoplight, is just kid's play. Cross the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo off your list, too, pops, and get thee to the BMW dealer.

• Compare the WRX to the Evo.
• Here are more age-appropriate sports cars for you.

Read List: 10 Foreign Cars With Muscle-Car DNA

MINI Cooper Convertible

Dad can do a MINI Cooper, but not the convertible. It's too cute. Not beachy cute like the VW Beetle convertible, more first job as an executive assistant cute. Instead, go for the hardtop 208-horsepower John Cooper Works variant, in a classic color such as Eclipse Gray or British Racing Green. Pass on the Union Jack roof graphic. The last word on convertibles: If you really want one, go for a Ford Mustang or Chevy Camaro.

• Check out the latest John Cooper Works MINI.
• Compare the Camaro to the Mustang.

Watch Video: New Convertibles for 2012

Nissan Juke

One respected auto reviewer calls the Juke "whimsical," which pretty much sums up why this crossover hatchback is not a good choice for dad. The bulging fenders, the pinched-off rear end and especially those turn signals sprouting from the corners of the hood — if life were an animated feature, this might work for you. Truth is, the trying-too-hard styling makes the Juke less functional; its back-seat comfort and cargo space are compromised.

• Consider the Toyota FJ Cruiser as an alternative.
• Check out vehicles with exquisite back seats.

Watch Video:  2012 Nissan Juke

Ford Fiesta

Ford really likes to advertise this great compact car in a color it calls Lime Squeeze Metallic, often showing it trolling past a bistro in what looks like Brooklyn, N.Y. This is not by accident. The Fiesta is aimed at the practical hipster, and Brooklyn is the hipster's promised land. You might be practical, dad, but you are not hip. Even so, the Fiesta is well-built and fun to drive and has a premium cockpit.

• The Fiesta is a great commuter car. So are these.
• Is the color of your car really important?

View Slideshow: 10 Cheapest Cars to Own

Mazda MazdaSpeed3

We used to know a girl with the personalized plate "2FUN4U," a message that would be perfect on the back bumper of this hot 263-horsepower compact. The MazdaSpeed3 does not match the hard edge or brute force of the Subaru Impreza WRX, but at about $24,000 it delivers great bang for the buck. However, it has a wing on the back and a scoop on the front, features that should be stylistic red flags for drivers over 40.

• Consider a Volkswagen GTI or Golf R, instead.
• These sexy commuter cars will really get your motor running.

Bing Images: MazdaSpeed3

Nissan 240SX

You, sir, probably aren't fast and furious. You want to stay away from tuner imports and any vehicle that hints at drifting, even if you can afford the tires. Features to watch for include low-hanging intercoolers, bolt-on Indy car wings, snap-on fiberglass body parts in iridescent paint, scissor doors, a 6-inch diameter exhaust that produces a sound reminiscent of a duck call, and rims more than 20 inches in diameter.

• If you want a racer, try one of these.
• Have you gone too far with the aftermarket mods?

Bing Images: Nissan 240SX

For more information on any of the vehicles in this slideshow, click the links below:

• Nissan cube
• Fiat 500 Convertible
• Volkswagen Beetle
• Subaru Impreza WRX
• MINI Cooper Convertible
• Nissan Juke
• Ford Fiesta
• Mazda MazdaSpeed3
• Nissan 240SX

Compare: Available Vehicles

Veteran moto-journalist and Wisconsin-native Charles Plueddeman has been driving, riding and testing automobiles, motorcycles, boats, ATVs and snowmobiles for more than 20 years. He is a regular contributor to Boating Magazine and Outdoor Life, and his product evaluation articles have appeared in Popular Mechanics, Men's Journal, AutoWorld, Playboy, Boats.com and many other national publications and Web sites.

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