10 outrageous options on luxury cars

Feature: Leather-lined wooden iPod drawer

If you're anything like us, you like both comfort and music. Since the wealthy are essentially ordinary people with cubic acres of money, should we be surprised that they're not any different? If you bought a 2011 Bentley Mulsanne — Bentley's twin-turbo 505-horsepower flagship — you would probably want your iPod to know the soft touch of premium leather. Hence, the leather-lined wooden iPod drawer in the center of the Mulsanne's dash. Most automakers just give you a cable coming out of the glove box or a jack in the center console; not Bentley. It gives you a cushy drawer the size of a New York studio apartment. Even the other half's gadgets live better than most people.

View Pictures:  2011 Bentley Mulsanne

Feature: Teak decking

The Rolls-Royce Phantom convertible — or "Drophead Coupe" in Rolls-speak — is the cream of the Rolls crop. There are more expensive convertibles, and there are more ostentatious superluxury cars, but few are as extravagant. The Phantom Drophead's details are ridiculous, but the most ridiculous lies upon its expansive rear: custom-cut teak decking. Like fine furniture on the deck of a yacht, the wood has to be oiled regularly and cared for in order to retain its characteristic golden appearance. In addition, the Rolls Drophead Coupe offers a tailgate that can double as a picnic table capable of holding 330 pounds. The wheel wells are lined with synthetic felt for noise reduction.

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Feature: Pop-up dash speakers

Audi uses Danish entertainment firm Bang & Olufsen for its sound systems, and it's not hard to see why: The company's products sound great and look fantastic. Several Audi vehicles, including the A8 and S8, offer a 1,000-watt system that incorporates 14 speakers. Each of those speakers has its own amplifier — yes, that's 14 separate amps — but the crowning glory is something B&O calls "acoustic lenses." These 180-degree tweeters live just in front of the car's A-pillar and pop up when the stereo system is turned on. Yes, we ended up turning the stereo on and off just to watch the speakers go up and then back down. Yes, we're easily amused.

Compare: Audi A8 vs. Jaguar XJ Series vs. Porsche Panamera

Feature: Rear-seat champagne cooler

Thirty years ago, the notion of a competitive Hyundai luxury sedan would have seemed ludicrous. Ten years ago, it would have seemed only moderately implausible. Now, it's a reality, and no one bats an eye. Still, the first time we climbed into a Hyundai Equus fitted with the optional rear-seat champagne cooler — a miniature refrigerator — we had to stop and consider the implications. This is a Hyundai with a refrigerator. This isn't so much extravagant by definition; it's extravagant by context. Thankfully, evolution is predictable: Five years from now, this won't seem so strange.

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Feature: Ordinary things, ridiculously priced

The sports cars from Maranello, Italy, are some of the most desirable machines on earth. They are built from specialized materials by skilled hands, and in limited numbers. And if you want one, you have to be prepared to pay. Not pay as in Rolls-Royce pay — a lot of money for extravagant things — but pay as in "we have you by the stones" pay, which means quite a lot of money for simple things. Take the Ferrari 612: Its option sheet lists normal extras such as cruise control ($989), a backup camera ($3,103) and colored seatbelts ($815), albeit at out-there prices. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Want a custom, Ferrari-branded iPod to match your 612? That's $838. Compared to the $3,000 cruise control, it almost seems reasonable.

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Feature: Teflon-lined door umbrellas

Like the Phantom Drophead, the Rolls-Royce Ghost is a premium car. But there is one distinction: It's the entry-level Rolls, and so, ostensibly, it is less outrageous. Which, of course, is still pretty outrageous. The rear doors close at the touch of a button. The Spirit of Ecstasy hood ornament can be ordered with an electronic-retract function, as on the Phantom. The best part, however, is standard: full-size golf umbrellas that live in the sills of each front door. They pop out at the push of a chrome button, allowing you or your chauffeur to always be protected in inclement weather. Naturally, these aren't ordinary umbrellas or ordinary doors. The umbrellas are Teflon-lined, and their storage compartments drain to the pavement below.

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Feature: Whale leather

This feature is so offensive that it merited inclusion in this list even though the vehicle in question isn't currently sold. The 2009 Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Edition SUV offered an interior made of leather crafted from a male whale's sex organ. When the vehicle was introduced in 2009, news of the feature quickly circulated through Internet forums; most people assumed it was a joke. It wasn't. Some found it funny, but most found it offensive. Public pressure eventually drove Dartz to discontinue the option, and it was replaced with standard leather.

Bing Images: 2009 Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Edition

Feature: Emotion Control Unit

Pomp is common with high-end automobiles, and Aston Martins are no exception. Britain's legendary sports-car maker gifts its current models with crystal starter buttons and frosted-glass ashtrays. Here's the catch, though: Both of those things sound ridiculous until you try them. Behind the wheel of a Rapide or V8 Vantage, a crystal button and a Lalique-like ashtray suddenly seem appropriate. Which is where the Aston Martin Emotion Control Unit, aka the key fob, comes in. The ECU is adorned in stainless steel and piano-black trim, and it's topped off with a polished sapphire crystal. If you lose it, a replacement costs in excess of $1,500. Emotion control, indeed.

Compare: Aston Martin V8 Vantage vs. Audi R8 vs. Maserati GranTurismo

Features: Extraordinary things, ridiculously priced

Much like Ferrari, Porsche knows that people like its cars. The company also knows that it can charge a heck of a lot for ordinary things like floor mats or hubcaps. Porsche option lists are legendary for being both a mile long and absurdly expensive — if you get a little greedy, you can even double the price of the car you're buying. (Using Porsche's web configurator, we once optioned a sub-$100,000 Panamera to more than $200,000.) If Ferrari's window stickers feature normal things priced extravagantly, Porsche's feature extravagant things priced extravagantly. Want your defroster vents or clothes hooks covered in leather? It's on the option list. Leather fuse-box covers or seatbelt buckles and custom-colored Porsche crests on your wheels? You can have that, too. Pricing varies, but if you're buying a Porsche, you probably don't care.

Feature: Starlight headliner

Notice how a lot of items on this list are attached to Rolls-Royces? That's no coincidence. This is a carmaker that prides itself on being able to do anything for anyone, regardless of cost or complexity. As such, it makes sense that the standard factory options are pretty out there. The Starlight headliner option for the Phantom coupe and sedan, however, takes the cake. For around $12,000, you get 1,600 tiny fiber-optic lights embedded in the fabric above your head. (Doing the math, that's roughly $7.50 a light. Sounds like a bargain.) Maybe this makes sense, maybe it doesn't, but it's definitely pretty.

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Sam Smith is a journalist, a Southerner, and a reformed Alfa Romeo mechanic who spends most of his time mooning over leaky old motorcycles and small-batch bourbon. A multiple International Automotive Media award-winner, he has covered cars for Automobile Magazine, Car and Driver, and Esquire, among other publications. He once drove 4000 miles in a weekend for a hamburger and has only been threatened by the German police twice.

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